Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Sitting on the black rocks of Neck Point...there is an Otter playing or fishing in the water just beyond me. As far as my eye can see it is blue, blue, blue; blue ocean, blue sky, blue mountain behind the blue fog off in the distance. The rocks I sit on are littered with bright purple starfish that stand out as much as the bright stars against a midnight sky. Two kayakers move silently across the water in front of me and I watch them as they gracefully row beyond the horizon.
There is no resistance here, except for maybe the waves as they meet the rocks. Yet even so, the rocks are slowly being eroded by the water - Resistance is futile.
It is silent here; no human noise and really that is the only noise I recognize. All else is silence with the mutterings of nature in the background.
I can be so hard on myself and the ease of this place seems to bring my harshness to light. I judge myself for not working hard enough, not eating healthy enough, not being a good enough person. Out here, on Neck Point, this seems silly - that I occupy my time with judgement, that I occupy my mind with judgement. I know these are not my own for left to our own devices we humans would thrive on love and peace - me included. These judgements come from a society - a collective consciousness - that teaches us to judge rather than accept, to be rational rather than imaginative, to cage rather than free. Why? Because we believe we will find security within productivity and the amassing of wealth. I find security in my harsh judgement of myself because with it I am bound to the limits of society's productivity machine and therefore not risking a life beyond the whirligigs of it's mechanisms.
What if...I wonder...What if...as I sit on these black rocks thinking.